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It’s not you, it’s your environment. Why we need to reframe struggle in motherhood.

So often when we are struggling, we point the blame on ourselves.

In the years I’ve spent working with many mothers in the postpartum years, I see this so often.

  • I see the guilt and shame around struggling to enjoy motherhood. Even when we love our children with every fiber of our being!

  • I hear the struggle to feel good in our body. Navigating physical symptoms that have come up since having a baby like digestive issues, hormone issues, sleep issues and wild emotions.

  • I see the wish of having more energy to keep up with the demands of caring for young kids. And to have enough energy to do fun things with them or for yourself.

  • I see the desire to feel calmer. To be thriving and enjoying life instead of just surviving.

And I see so clearly what sets a mother up for struggle. It’s not her. It’s not her personality, it’s not her motivation, it’s not her ability to parent.

It’s her environment.

We are ALL the products of our environment whether we are consciously aware of that or not.

Here’s a funny story and metaphor for you about how I struggled to grow tomatoes.

I come from a family of gardeners. My grandfather had impressive gardening skills. He was able to grow incredible things in his garden like melon, artichokes, fruit trees and produce I had never seen before.

When I started my first garden as a young adult, I was pretty confident. How hard could it be?

So I put some seeds in a pot with some soil I had randomly dug up from the ground, watered it every once in a while and assumed the shady back deck would be sufficient for sunlight.

It’s hilarious when I look back on it now.

What I found was that my tomato plant grew very poorly, spindly and gave me underdeveloped fruit that didn’t even turn red!

Turns out, the difference between a wannabe gardener and a masterful gardener is the attention to details in the ENVIRONMENT to allow the tomato seed to do its job and bloom out the way it’s designed to.

The next year I did it differently.

I spoke with my grandparents (the master gardeners) for advice, I took a couple books out from the library on gardening. I built some raised garden beds in the sunniest corner of the yard.

I filled the beds with high quality soil and ensured it was free of weeds regularly. I made a point of watering the plants well every day and covered them when the weather was unexpectedly cold.

The result? I had some BEAUTIFUL and juicy tomatoes. It was so satisfying and dramatically different from my first experience.

Postpartum, these years after birth, is the same. We need to have the right environment to result in a happy and healthy mom.

This means - the basics. A mom needs deeply nourishing food, she needs sleep and rest and she needs support - both practical and emotional.

Are you ready to work on your own environment as a mother this year? Hit reply and let me know what your biggest struggle is. I’d love to connect with you.



Your dietitian doula

P.S. - Want to work with me?

Sign up for my Balanced Mom Method program where you can start supporting your body so you can have energy and calm again.

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